I’m Laura Wasser, attorney, author, founder and C.E.O. of It’s Over Easy the online divorce service. I’m the parent of two awesome kids. Their dads and I share custody and, so far, we all feel that we are doing pretty well.
I have been practicing Family Law for over 20 years. Family Law is pretty much a euphemism for Divorce Law. Navigating child custody, support and division of assets is something I know a little bit about.
Over the years countless friends and clients have said to me, “If I only knew then what I know now…” long after their divorce was final and they have gone on to relate how the wisdom of their experience could have saved them heartache, aggravation and money.
Why does it take having gone through the divorce experience to know that things could have been handled better? Why has there been so little progress in effective resolution techniques? How can we change the way we approach and perceive divorce?
I truly believe that in this day and age, divorcing couples (or unmarried parents in custody disputes) are generally capable of working out many of their issues on their own. Many are trying. Whether it is by virtue of mediation, collaborative practice, counseling or some combination of legal guidance through an admittedly archaic and complicated system and direct communication as opposed to through expensive attorneys. An evolution is taking place; the evolution of dissolution.
In 2013, I wrote a book called, “It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way — How to Divorce Without Destroying Your Family or Bankrupting Yourself”. The book gives some helpful hints on modern dissolution taking into account the hurdles faced by couples who want to separate their households and finances in a civil and cost effective way. When I first started working as a divorce lawyer I came to work at my dad’s firm.
He knew what he was doing; not only had he and my mom had the most respectful divorce ever, they resolved their financial issues, worked effectively as co-parents to my brother and me and, to this day they are friends. Our firm has always promoted settlement oriented resolution no matter the circumstances.
We believe that agreements made between couples are much better than letting a judge, who doesn’t know you or your children, make decisions about big ticket life issues. Most of our clients are wealthy and or famous, the number of zeros on their bank account balances may be different but the fear and anger and sadness are the same. In some ways, divorce is a great equalizer. Unless you have been through it before, you know little or nothing about the laws or the process and it can be frustrating and terrifying.
One of the reasons I wrote the book was to provide people who maybe couldn’t afford expensive attorneys some of the insight and information we provide our clients.
The next step naturally was an online divorce site. It’s Over Easy allows like minded couples to separate and divorce from their own living rooms. Our team has developed an intuitive and simple process for uncontested divorces available to everyone.
The platform is uncomplicated and you go at your own pace. Throughout the testing phase the people who visited and used the site overwhelmingly told us that the forms, process and platform were easy to use.
We have child custody and co-parenting tools to assist with communication and creation of shared schedules. Our balance sheet programs will explain property allocation and we have created technology to assist with determination of the appropriate amounts of child and spousal support. If you hit a roadblock on any of the issues, we offer live chat with divorce coaches or can direct you to financial advisors or mental health professionals who can help.
The site also has tons of content for folks going through or thinking of going through the divorce process. From education comes reason. Our blog has articles written by professionals and actual people who have gone through the experience. We have tools and suggestions of ways to “think outside of the box” and avoid costly litigation.
We also take the idea of community seriously, which is why we created, The Index. The Index provides resources and support unique to what our users might need when going through a divorce. Everything from fiscal planners, real estate agents and mental health practitioners to a great blow-dry, dating app, massage or meditation class. We believe that the process of recovery, renewal and reinvention requires support in many forms.
OOTify is one of our providers and we make good partners because we value the idea of effective mental health. We have amassed an online destination rich with service providers for all new chapter lifestyle needs. It is a resource not just fitting for divorce, but for all relationship-life stages. Put simply, Its Over Easy gives people going through what is absolutely NOT an easy life experience the ability to be the masters of their own destiny and move through to the next stage of their lives more simply and inexpensively.While it may seem obvious, those in the epicenter of a separation or divorce may not immediately recognize the importance of communication. Anyone who is about to embark on the path to separation would do well to remember to be reasonable and be compassionate — do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Your partner is scared too.
Even if you are not feeling the love now, you loved him/her are some point. The wisdom of my experience tells me this has to be the better way. Take deep breaths, be adults, and try to work it out on your own. This is a legal transaction. Treat it as one.
There is something quite empowering about being the masters of your own destiny. Remember, the money you don’t spend on attorneys is money you will have for your children’s futures or your own mental health care where you can attain the emotional healing you deserve.
This evolution of dissolution is a more cost effective, equitable and compassionate way to get divorced and move on.
Attorney Laura Wasser is an author, entrepreneur, and Family Law expert. She is the founder of the online divorce platform, It’s Over Easy and the host of the Divorce Sucks Podcast! Laura has represented celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Anna Faris, Jimmy lovine, Maria Shriver, Stevie Wonder and the list goes on, but she maintains that divorce is the great equalizer — it terrifies everyone. Laura’s made it her mission to change that by creating It’s Over Easy, an easy to use resource for couples to dissolve their marriage that’s accessible (and affordable) to everyone @laurawasserofficial @itsovereasy #DivorceSucks
OOTify is a mental wellness technology company based in Los Angeles. You can anonymously and securely engage with mental health, coaching, and wellness professionals to overcome challenges through HIPAA compliant technology. Download the app from your mobile app store, or visit The Fabric, our community forum. For more information, please email firstname.lastname@example.org or visit us at www.ootify.com.