Whether you are aware of it or not, who you are today is based on a compilation of all of the life experiences and interactions that have brought you to where you are in this moment. Yes, all of your hang ups, your triggers and your self sabotaging behaviors can likely be traced back to events or relationships that took place in your not so distant past. If you have never done it, it is a worthwhile exercise to stop and take inventory of the things that are working for you and the things that are not. We need to look at our maladaptive patterns and ask the question "why do I cope that way?" Like most people, I am guilty of operating on autopilot and letting my unconscious coping strategies get the best of me. It wasn't until I had kids and noticed that I was sounding more and more like my father that I really started taking stock of what was working for me and what wasn't; what was affecting my relationships in a positive way and what was affecting them in a negative way. I looked at my patterns and my triggers and the thoughts, feelings and memories that where associated with them. This exercise has helped me become a better father and a better husband. Luckily, I have a wife that is understanding, analytical and a great listener with unlimited amounts of patience. It is difficult to monitor yourself and to work through things on your own. Whenever possible, it is to your advantage to involve a trusted second party in your journey to better yourself. You don't have to figure it out on your own, but it is up to you to start. What are you waiting for?