Aug 27, 2018


1 comment


Transitions are a natural part of life; they cannot be avoided.  When you are young you must learn to transition from one activity to another.  As you get older you must deal with bigger life transitions, such as switching schools or going off to college or getting a new job.  Some people are naturally better at it than others, but regardless of your natural disposition, transitioning from one thing to the next in a healthy way is a skill that must be learned.  it is a skill that will serve you well throughout your life, into adulthood and old age.  If you are lucky you had diligent parents or you went to a really good preschool that helped facilitate your learning how to transition in a way that caused the least amount of stress and angst.  If you are Gen-Xer like me who's parents just parented the way that they were parented you probably didn't get a whole lot of warning before you had to put down what you were doing because it was time to go.  As a result of this, transitions were always difficult for me until I taught myself how to transition.  I think it may have been in college that I decided that I would prepare myself prior to starting a new class or entering a new professional or social situation.  When I finally figured this out, it changed my life.  


I bring this up because, as some of you my be aware, the new school year is upon us and my children just started kindergarten.  They had to transition out of the preschool that they had been at for 3 years into an entirely new situation at a new location with new people......and they NAILED IT!!!!  They were a little slow to separate on the first day, but eventually said their good byes and joined their group meeting, surrounded by nothing but new faces.  


Now, I am fairly certain that neither my wife, nor I are naturally gifted with the ability to thrive in any new situation, so genes cannot take the credit.  I believe that the credit belongs to us as parents taking the time to prepare our children by talking to them and telling them stories and asking them questions.  Credit should also go to their preschool for beginning the conversation early and also helping them to work through their feelings about leaving and going on to kindergarten.  


I guess this post is a very long winded endorsment for the importance of giving transitions the reverence that they deserve.  It is difficult for a toddler to just put down something that they are engaged in because you have to get to work on time or because it's bath time or bed time.   We can help them with the transition and help them to have less anxiety surrounding transitions by preparing them appropriately.  Let them know that you will be leaving in 10 minutes and give them on opportunity to finish that one last thing that they are working on.  Sacrificing 2 minutes can prevent a lot of tears and headaches.  Usually, 2 minutes is all it takes to give them a little "win" and allow them to feel as if they have some power over their environment.  For bigger transitions like kindergarten, prepare them in the way that you would like to be prepared for something new.  Knowledge is power - if they feel as if they know what they are getting into they will feel much more empowered.  


As a father, I've read all of this in the parenting books, but you really have to practice it in the moment to make it part of your natural routine.  It requires mindfulness and patience, but you and your children will reap the rewards.   

New Posts
  • Whenever I or my friends are stressed, we have found that animals bring significant comfort to our lives. In my apartment, we have emotional support rats which have helped us destress and also bond with each other!
  • September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month and National Suicide Prevention Week starts today. In support, today at 1pm, the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health Why We Rise campaign will host a Twitter Chat in collaboration with the LA Suicide Prevention Network . Please join the conversation if you can! This is a conversation that we should all be having. Join in!
  • I recently indulged in one of Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History Podcasts that I found to be particularly relevant to what we are doing at OOTify and what is going on in the world today. First, let me say that this is not a plug for Malcolm Gladwell or his podcast, but really, you should listen to it. It is excellent and he is a brilliant writer and researcher! If you have not heard the podcast or read his books do yourself a favor and dive in. You will not be disappointed. The episode I’m referring to is the August 1st episode “Descend into the Particular”. It is the third episode in a 3 part series where he is discussing the Jesuit way of thinking referred to as Casuistry. This particular episode is using the hot button issue of law enforcement shootings and people’s perceptions of them to illustrate his point that history is not exactly how we have perceived it and that it can be thought of in different ways. He highlights a story of a man who was shot by police officers in New Mexico in 2016. He opens the episode with the information that the public was initially given: that the young latino man was shot too many times and was unarmed. Malcom Gladwell then goes on several masterful tangents as only he can and comes back to this story to finish the episode. It turns out that the young Latino man had committed suicide by cop. Malcolm Gladwell interviews the criminologist who examined the case during the trial brought about by the victim’s family and they proceed to “descend into the particulars”. They go into the back-story of this young man who had been seeing a therapist and who had been having suicidal thoughts. They discuss the particulars of the young man’s actions leading up to the shooting and review police video. Malcolm Gladwell then talks to the young man’s brother who proceeds to tell him that he had no idea that his brother had been seeing a therapist or that he had been struggling with depression. This is when I decided to write this post. It is in line with some of my past posts. There are too many people out there suffering in silence. There ended up being three victims in this case; the actual victim who died, his family and the officer who killed him. This all likely could have been prevented if this young man could have reached out for help, if he had a good support system. I don’t know about the family or about this unfortunate young man, but I can’t help but think that this sort of thing is preventable. A strong support system is invaluable when you are going through difficult times and it can potentially save your life. If you need help it is out there.

DISCLAIMER: OOTify is not a healthcare provider and does not substitute for a primary care physician, medical advice or professional services. The information provided through is made for educational and informational purposes only and should not be used as a professional diagnosis or a treatment plan. No physician-patient relationship is created by this site or its use. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health condition, you should consult your healthcare provider for specific medical advice. IF YOU EXPERIENCE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, IMMEDIATELY CALL A HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL AND 911. YOUR USE OF THIS SITE OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION PROVIDED HEREIN IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

  • Facebook - White Circle
  • Twitter - White Circle
  • Instagram - White Circle

© 2019 by OOTify, Inc. | Terms of Service and Privacy Policy