Mental health effected by physical health

Thank you for this post. It sounds like you are in a lof of constant pain. This can definitely affect your mental health and you are totally normal. I also suffer from back spasms and they can be debilitating. That being said, the pain is not chronic and may last a week or so, but once it's done, it's done. I can resume life as normal and just be very cautious and make sure that I lift and bend properly. When you suffer from constant pain it can really wear on your psyche. You are dealing with multiple factors when it comes to chronic pain. You are dealing with the fear of the worst possible scenario. You are dealing with the loss of a former identity in which you were capable of running, jumping or doing whatever you wanted to without pain. More acutely, you are dealing with the actual day to day physical pain that limits your ability to function.

Given all this, I'm sure you are feeling like you are at the mercy of your bulging disc and not very empowered. Whenever you are feeling like you are not in control the best thing to do is to take stock of the things that you can control in order to make your situation better. Once you do this, you start chipping away at your list little by little. Just like Rage Against The Machine said: "You've gotta take the power back!"

.....and remember, you do not have to do this alone. Whether you engage a coach or a therapist or a trustworthy friend, I would always recommend talking about whatever it is that has you stuck. It's the best way to get unstuck!

Thanks so much for your input! It's definitely hard but I will do my best to focus on things I can control and try to stay optimistic :)

Michael gave great thoughts. Disillusionment of course can set in in any area of life when we hit wall after wall. Without knowing the details of your condition, and presuming you've seen the appropriate specialists to no avail, there are a few outside paths you may want to consider pursuing. The first is hypnosis. It has a long history and good body of evidence for treatment of pain. Find someone reputable, ideally a professional certified by ASCH.net (American Society of Clinical Hypnosis). The next option, should you not be talking to a pain specialist about more invasive options like injections, is mindfulness.

Mindfulness comes from Zen meditation, and when examining chronic pain raises a unique idea -- there can be a separation between "pain" and "suffering." Mindfulness is a state of mind that cultivates awareness without necessarily reacting to what's happening. Of course when in the middle of such pain, relief/escape feels like the best option. Should that not be possible for whatever reasons in your life, mindfulness has allowed many people to live a life while having pain, reducing or eliminating the "suffering" they experience.

Do any of these seem interesting or useful?

Michael and Dr. Puri made excellent points. I completely understand what you are going through and I know this sounds counter intuitive but your mental health could be the originating factor affecting your physical health (and reinforcing each other negatively thereafter).

What I am about to share may be the solution for you as long as you've ruled out major medical illness or severe structural damage (beyond a bulging disk) by a medical professional.

Background:

My wife has been dealing with exactly as you described for the past two years. Chronic debilitating pain in her back resulting in depression, anxiety, and hopelessness. She would not want to wake up because of the physical and emotional pain. She was found to have a bulging disc in her back and went to several doctors, and tried everything as I'm sure you have, to treat her pain to no avail. Doctors said the bulging disc could not be causing this much pain. From what I understand its more common than not for people to have bulging disks of all degrees with no pain. Surgery was also, of course, mentioned as a solution but as a last resort.

Oddly enough, it began right after she reached a tremendous amount of success in her profession. Long story short, when things were not going as well, she began to internalize her frustrations and her back pain began to trigger. It grew worse and worse. The back pain translated over to her mood and a viscous loop began. This is all, of course, in hindsight.

The Light:

She recently decided to work on her mental approach again as she noticed her mood was at a very low point (she was into the mindfulness realm before her success a couple of years ago). We rarely walk to lunch but last weekend we decided to take our dog and walk to lunch on Larchmont. There is a dentist office on the way that has a cute small public book sharing "library" that has about 30 books laying flat. Coincidentally, or not, standing straight up facing the glass was this book called "Healing Back Pain - The Mind Body Connection" by Dr. John Sarno.

All I will say is that after one week of reading 60 out of a 180 pages in that book her back pain is gone!

We spent all of Thursday night talking about it and she couldn't believe it. She had tears of joy and felt so empowered. I was so inspired I told her I'll write about it on The Fabric but, coincidentally or not, I came across your post and decided to start here.

I will write my wife's experiences and my thoughts and in a more detailed post because millions of people are affected by what he calls "tension myoneural syndrome" and could benefit.

I hope you find his material helpful. Please do not go under the knife until you fully read and give Dr. Sarno's approach a try. You just have to read through it and make the connections for yourself. A good therapist/practitioner who is aligned with the mind/body connection can definitely help if you are having any roadblocks. I believe Dr. Sarno himself is retired but there are people out there who are practicing via his method for treating chronic pain.

Just search for Dr. John Sarno on Google/Amazon/YouTube.

Wish you the best!

All of this information is so terrific--and highlights the fact that while we feel like we're the only ones, there are always others out there who can help. So glad that you posted. Adding my two cents to this mix, two approaches that have been very helpful for me post-cancer surgery are daily laughter and meditation (small doses of self compassion and love are very helpful, too!)

I just wanted to say thanks so much for all the support. Since my post, I've read "Healing Back Pain - The Mind Body Connection" by Dr. John Sarno as well as "The Clarity Cleanse". Both resources have been really helpful in understanding how the mind can effect our physical health. It was really comforting to hear from you all that I'm not being crazy and that the emotions I've been feeling are normal for someone who is going through any sort of chronic pain management. I've also started "Somatic Experiencing" once a week to help with managing my stress levels. I hope to post about my experience with this form of therapy in the near future. Thank you again for all the love.

So glad you’re giving it a shot! Good luck and keep us posted!